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Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (3333)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

#5359755
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37522) - you deserved it (2584)

On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

#5358347
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (9170)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML

#5361987
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (7607)

On 09/19/2009 at 7:19pm - animals - by 909 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

joshizzle3's comment : Most foreign FML i've ever read

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Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (240955)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

westbrookx's comment : You are an IDIOT.

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Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

#5354989
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36914) - you deserved it (3841)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by HousekeeperNoMore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71343) - you deserved it (3747)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

#5352891
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40065) - you deserved it (2571)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my unemployed boyfriend and I went to the casino. I gave him twenty dollars to play on. He won $1000 on a dollar machine then jackpotted the ten dollar machine for $20,000. When we got home he broke up with me. I have been working two jobs to get our own place. Move in Date?? 2 weeks. FML

#5351230
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (4526)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you deserved it (7882)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (51120)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML

#5347133
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44830) - you deserved it (13914)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)



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