Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34324) - you deserved it (4664)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (3186)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

#12037742
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33149) - you deserved it (5072)

On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (52211)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Lozza111's comment : haha, your bf is awesome, stop complaining

See all the comments →

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

#12027756
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51061) - you deserved it (6037)

On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my husband was trying to cheat on me while I was away at basic training. I signed up for the service to pay off his debt. FML

#12026889
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (5572)

On 07/21/2010 at 3:32pm - love - by Jessi - United States

Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

#12023647
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (30062)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Syrinth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

#12023644
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (45591)

On 07/21/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by Goody2shoes (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31518) - you deserved it (3972)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

#12011441
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (6832)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14126) - you deserved it (74631)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46413) - you deserved it (4524)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

#12004673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (15011)

On 07/20/2010 at 3:01pm - love - by Ohshucks! - United States



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