Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

#7336532
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (4390)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:45am - kids - by hair2daygone4ever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5794) - you deserved it (42629)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

#7336128
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (6429)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Ilovelife07's comment : shoulda taken it out, and put it in her butt and said "feel it now??"

See all the comments →

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46169) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30337) - you deserved it (3359)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
78 comments

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#7333301
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11331) - you deserved it (22238)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:59am - work - by OverweightTeen (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (3444)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

#7332045
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7478) - you deserved it (60845)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

#7331579
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (38802)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (4074)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: