Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32510) - you deserved it (12409)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (89574)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

kittiekat's comment : you are a total asshole

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (43152)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22935) - you deserved it (34758)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (3543)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31330) - you deserved it (6577)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (2924)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (5493)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34385) - you deserved it (5747)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

#7721655
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44509) - you deserved it (2449)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm - love - by pkz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included "I want to go to the car" followed by "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML

#7720142
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (2938)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by WishesWasDeaf (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

#7718053
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29881) - you deserved it (4183)

On 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by hahahawoww (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

#7711945
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10806) - you deserved it (35201)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:55pm - love - by madgf - Sent from mobile version



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