Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

#12141202
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27748) - you deserved it (7748)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35425) - you deserved it (4970)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

#12136195
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13629) - you deserved it (28851)

On 07/27/2010 at 12:38am - work - by uugnfg - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

#12130176
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34773) - you deserved it (5422)

On 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

#12126725
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (4505)

On 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by robm (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

#12123688
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (8354)

On 07/26/2010 at 1:09pm - health - by Andiii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML

#12120834
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41362) - you deserved it (4721)

On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something" to her kids. FML

#12114881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68256) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version

bernzz's comment : what a insensitive bitch

See all the comments →

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

#12114590
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41223) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:22am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML

#12114157
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28626) - you deserved it (12212)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:03am - love - by beeee - Australia

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

#12112091
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47285) - you deserved it (4617)

On 07/25/2010 at 10:32pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (10009)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36947) - you deserved it (3382)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: