Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

#7336289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5794) - you deserved it (42624)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:14am - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink. He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine. FML

#7336128
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (6429)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Ilovelife07's comment : shoulda taken it out, and put it in her butt and said "feel it now??"

See all the comments →

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46166) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (3358)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
78 comments

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#7333301
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11331) - you deserved it (22237)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:59am - work - by OverweightTeen (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

#7333121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (3444)

On 01/14/2010 at 1:45am - love - by handlin (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

#7332045
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7477) - you deserved it (60845)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

#7331579
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7890) - you deserved it (38798)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23036) - you deserved it (4073)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (37078)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

#7325738
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (2874)

On 01/13/2010 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by cantgetitupcantgetiton (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: