Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

#7139398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10951) - you deserved it (24325)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:01am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

#7139059
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (6986)

On 01/04/2010 at 1:43am - health - by sadface (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29084) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

#7137306
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6270) - you deserved it (39290)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by Lil_bit - France

Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slip. FML

#7135383
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6451) - you deserved it (31262)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:50pm - health - by fml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (8834)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I am that loser. FML

#7133599
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28123) - you deserved it (4514)

On 01/03/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by birthday bash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27036) - you deserved it (6003)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

#7127845
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (8409)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm - money - by brokeandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

#7125178
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (32581)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by PWI_addict (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9789) - you deserved it (24165)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

#7124695
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9033) - you deserved it (26247)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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