Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (36534)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (2374)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

#7835541
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:11am - money - by olyswimmer (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32445) - you deserved it (2750)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

#7831807
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm - love - by redjesus69 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

#7821879
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (2345)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

#7821444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (5204)

On 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50291) - you deserved it (38220)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

#7815637
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9580) - you deserved it (28529)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

#7814499
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39855) - you deserved it (2012)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:38pm - misc - by mollymaykitty - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

#7813334
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (4028)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:32pm - animals - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: