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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date and it was going great. When we got our meals, he told me I had to try what he was having, and he fed me a bite. I said something like "oh that was cute" and he replied with "I was just trying to see how big your mouth is." FML

#6428684
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (3822)

On 11/23/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by OpenWide (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

#6427475
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7930) - you deserved it (24733)

On 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm - love - by pigglepigglepiggle (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

#6426419
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5105) - you deserved it (37401)

On 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm - work - by Mr IT - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

#6424170
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (1986)

On 11/23/2009 at 7:07pm - love - by ssjin93 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

#6423121
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (5953)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by bleh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (4557)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (2189)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37223) - you deserved it (3505)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I am a secondary school teacher and I have been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4am this morning and it's now 1pm in the afternoon. FML

#6421481
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6476) - you deserved it (53746)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Nicholasand (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

#6421285
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (2763)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

#6420890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (4502)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

#6420753
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (5252)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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