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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

#4655713
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (37786)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom always figured I was "just a super bitch half the time." FML

#4654835
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (4564)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:40pm - health - by crazychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I flew 8 hours to visit my boyfriend. When I arrived at the airport, and he started taking long to show up, I checked my email to see the info. I hit the junk mail by accident and found his last 10 emails in there. He had broken up with me a week ago. FML

#4653267
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47186) - you deserved it (14270)

On 08/19/2009 at 11:03am - love - by MariadelMar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (53337)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

#4651685
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (8091)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you deserved it (4478)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, and for quite some time, my girlfriend has been telling me that she needs to go home each night to take care of her cat. Taking care of her cat is, it seems, an euphemism for having it off with her neighbor Tom since her cat died three months ago. FML

#4650437
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42710) - you deserved it (3305)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:08am - love - by catguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

#4650145
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38707) - you deserved it (5103)

On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13561) - you deserved it (35504)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

#4647409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44924) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:55am - love - by fuuuudge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11197) - you deserved it (49749)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54079) - you deserved it (4868)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64543) - you deserved it (3010)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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