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Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

#3486397
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

#3486343
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29548) - you deserved it (38641)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10579) - you deserved it (56004)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

#3484345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (4839)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48129) - you deserved it (21627)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

#3483555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43071) - you deserved it (20172)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:30pm - intimacy - by twintowers (woman) - United States

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

#3483352
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (2517)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16773) - you deserved it (34771)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

#3479311
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (8854)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

#3478288
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54111) - you deserved it (2516)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by hangup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

#3477927
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4672) - you deserved it (57088)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

#3477913
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (1531)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

#3476155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (5776)

On 07/04/2009 at 8:10am - health - by michellekel (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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