Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (14310)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13624) - you deserved it (52538)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

#12406299
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9077) - you deserved it (31271)

On 08/09/2010 at 4:29am - work - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43677) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

#12404191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36248) - you deserved it (3159)

On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31721) - you deserved it (3382)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (3663)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

#12392564
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37061) - you deserved it (6623)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:38pm - love - by pixiegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

#12390101
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (4305)

On 08/08/2010 at 12:22pm - animals - by Lifes_a_bust (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML

#12389070
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:52am - work - by XxDanno316xX - United States

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

#12388873
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7884) - you deserved it (36284)

On 08/08/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by Lola (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43837) - you deserved it (3390)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

#12385494
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31060) - you deserved it (8084)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: