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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

#7545764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (4761)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to his hockey game and he was joking around about throwing my favorite hoodie out of his window. While swinging it around, my brand new iPhone flew out of the pocket and the window, getting run over by a car. FML

#7544756
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34109) - you deserved it (7194)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:30pm - misc - by kaytiebobaytie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32238) - you deserved it (4168)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65928) - you deserved it (6465)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML

#7541798
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (4325)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40882) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

#7540376
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (2984)

On 01/24/2010 at 7:28am - animals - by CheeseMonsters (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (6608)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

yakturk43's comment : receiving is just as gay he's in denial...

See all the comments →

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

#7538757
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:50am - health - by Schrewt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27352) - you deserved it (2414)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

#7535757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (4037)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:03am - misc - by unluckymiss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

#7534746
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (6928)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by ashley_skillz06 - Sent from mobile version



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