Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today , I woke up to fine my boyfriend watcing me sleep. I askd im if e was staring at me because e was in love. He replid tat it was because my farting wouldn't let im sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (12923)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises an told me that she was good to go an that I should be on mah way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36912) - you deserved it (5442)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

I got the repair estimate fir my car. It is going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lover spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car fir exactly four hours. FML

#6527838
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Dante (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account 4 my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get marrid until much later cuz I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy 4 you." FML

#6527695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33552) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TODAY,ILE FLYING ON AMERICAN AIRLINES BACK FROM VISITING FAMILY, A NEW BORN PUKED ITS BREAKFAST ALL OVER HP MINI, KNOCKED ORANGE JUICE INO LAP, AN TAN COUGED UP ANOTER LAYER ON TOP OF IT ALL . I COULDN'T CANGE PANTS BECAUSE OF WE WERE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE TURBULANCE . FML

#6527445
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:34am - kids - by coloradoman (man) - United States (Colorado)

I was working at a restauranthen my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out!! So I did!! Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager!! FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36162) - you deserved it (2885)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding mah bike back to mah house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I lookd down to see a lemon on the ground and lookd up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (2776)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today , mah mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and putted ointment on it. mega FML

#6522437
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (4327)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I spoke wit ma boyfriend's crazy ex-grlfriend . Actually , se isn't all tat crazy . He really did ceat on er wit alf a dozen oter grls . Te same grls e's apparently ceating on me wit . How do I know for sure? Tank you crazy ex for is email passwords . FML

#6521538
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44082) - you deserved it (4759)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday I called mah boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because mah grandpa died . As soon as I told him he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother who died six years ago . I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail . real FML

#6519803
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (5261)

On 11/29/2009 at 7:47pm - misc - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got fired. By my fater. He wants me to drive im to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30501) - you deserved it (3092)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went hiking with mah friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He ped and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decidd to get him back and ped at him. The wind changd drection and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you deserved it (38919)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Taday I was lying in bd minding own business when mom enterd the room. I was proposd to a few weeks ago by boyfriend, an mom cummd in to tell me that boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

#6517359
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34830) - you deserved it (2900)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: