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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5004) - you deserved it (75091)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

#7321646
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11471) - you deserved it (39191)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - love - by cowgurl91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

#7321633
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (4001)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by soccercrazed1520 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (4642)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (14783)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

lahp's comment : that blows..... :D

See all the comments →

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one". FML

#7316718
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (3130)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:06am - love - by uglyone (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML

#7316250
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40826) - you deserved it (5120)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:40am - love - by BetrayedGirl (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30012) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

#7314783
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30320) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:07am - love - by Juanna (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5863) - you deserved it (44714)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (3716)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (3021)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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