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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML

#12767492
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (3652)

On 08/27/2010 at 2:49am - work - by atetoeate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

#12764929
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12978) - you deserved it (35217)

On 08/27/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (42053)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

#12760106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (3548)

On 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

#12758397
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13417) - you deserved it (50757)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Eeeek (woman) - Bulgaria (Varna)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (15397)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

#12754430
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16775) - you deserved it (23259)

On 08/26/2010 at 11:09am - money - by avalanche719 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15772) - you deserved it (51981)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

nasek718's comment : Iguess this is a FMA not FML

See all the comments →

Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML

#12753740
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (40313)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9298) - you deserved it (66573)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

#12751809
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (12604)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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