Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

#12655431
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (2988)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - love - by justmylife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

#12655415
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (3104)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by meowcat101 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7827) - you deserved it (37522)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

#12650265
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (4238)

On 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

#12649609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (4270)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42613) - you deserved it (3384)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

#12646207
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (3021)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (28532)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king sized bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML

#12638927
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36876) - you deserved it (5540)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:20am - love - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

#12638821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (3202)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by home owner - United States (New York)

Today, after twisting my knee playing soccer with my friends, I had to take myself to the hospital. Apparently finishing the game was more important to them. FML

#12638135
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (4466)

On 08/20/2010 at 1:34am - health - by Sam - United States

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

#12630401
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm - love - by Sara246 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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