Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

#3764935
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44388) - you deserved it (2732)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:04am - love - by wtf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11458) - you deserved it (57556)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

#3763023
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50104) - you deserved it (11880)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

#3762985
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31657) - you deserved it (4728)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by blotchy-girl (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

#3759649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49962) - you deserved it (3835)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML

#3757766
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10848) - you deserved it (24784)

On 07/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by dani911 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

#3756487
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50046) - you deserved it (1940)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55150) - you deserved it (3364)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#3752629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52805) - you deserved it (5661)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41701) - you deserved it (6233)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML

#3746953
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42066) - you deserved it (18178)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML

#3746710
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (4715)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

#3746526
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (5993)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Madrid)



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