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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML

#5896652
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (7160)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

#5896286
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (3919)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11095) - you deserved it (30573)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (3232)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML

#5895031
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40415) - you deserved it (6344)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7654) - you deserved it (55632)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59343) - you deserved it (3762)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

#5892629
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43406) - you deserved it (8903)

On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (5603)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

#5892074
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47384) - you deserved it (2890)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Indonesia (Jawa Timur)

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

#5891764
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33535) - you deserved it (5128)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:40am - animals - by JC - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

#5891401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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