Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

#12847836
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/01/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

#12846178
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8633) - you deserved it (39336)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:46pm - health - by WIno - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

#12843819
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (9634)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:35pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

#12842541
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (3147)

On 08/31/2010 at 7:13pm - misc - by NowHomeless (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

#12842003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25893) - you deserved it (8528)

On 08/31/2010 at 6:33pm - misc - by nemi (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (68276)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62795) - you deserved it (4405)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (9588)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35987) - you deserved it (8200)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (8115)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (52169)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

#12836034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28309) - you deserved it (4255)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:46am - love - by kp - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

#12835808
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (6521)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by ugly - United States



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