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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24109) - you deserved it (3909)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

#7514878
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:40am - love - by Phoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13651) - you deserved it (40087)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (2147)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

#7512878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (6411)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:04am - love - by voltronn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (37337)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14346) - you deserved it (24446)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

#7505237
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (5019)

On 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

#7503398
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37407) - you deserved it (3805)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:41pm - love - by ponyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

#7502995
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (5225)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:27pm - love - by hoody (man) - United States

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (2330)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41730) - you deserved it (3537)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States



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