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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got fired for taking time off to see my sister in the hospital after she got in a car accident. Before I got fired, I found out my boss took time off because her horoscope said she should. FML

#12887951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (2518)

On 09/03/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

#12887848
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (38408)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (6787)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

#12887247
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (5923)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:56pm - love - by Fmylife.25 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

#12887045
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (7965)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Sexylarry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

#12881965
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (7380)

On 09/03/2010 at 4:30am - love - by lonleystoner91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

#12880728
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12643) - you deserved it (29985)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (3839)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML

#12879741
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (6489)

On 09/03/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (4878)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

#12878777
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11446) - you deserved it (76026)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by ohseven6421 - United States (California)

_mystique_'s comment : YDI FOR NOT LISTENING!!!

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Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (7032)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (4252)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)



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