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Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (3143)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

#12922106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (7514)

On 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (6419)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bleached my hair for the new school year. Instead of blonde, it came out orange, making my hair resemble a bloated pumpkin. FML

#12918754
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11756) - you deserved it (31145)

On 09/05/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by xXRowynXx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

#12916563
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (5077)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:49am - misc - by wakinginvegas87 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32876) - you deserved it (4827)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

#12914621
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (6120)

On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

#12913788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you deserved it (3481)

On 09/05/2010 at 4:14am - love - by ohmydog (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24469) - you deserved it (23268)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

#12910984
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25356) - you deserved it (4618)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by kaytay2469 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (7958)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

#12908327
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9619) - you deserved it (33105)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:22pm - misc - by jentea (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

#12906050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (8606)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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