Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML

#12959841
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/08/2010 at 4:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

#12959590
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (3149)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML

#12959581
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (3687)

On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - money - by schoolkiddo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (32624)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

#12957877
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (2375)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by bustedfornuthin - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (3143)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4am to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML

#12953653
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27732) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/07/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by dumbdad - United States

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56709) - you deserved it (8293)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

NicoleIsCrazy's comment : That REALLY SUCKS!

See all the comments →

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

#12952694
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (4042)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:27pm - work - by Jobless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML

#12951031
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/07/2010 at 5:30pm - love - by Glutton for Punishment. - Sent from mobile version

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35674) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (6168)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: