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Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (4026)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38637) - you deserved it (2448)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34396) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

#7197887
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8228) - you deserved it (31498)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:36am - misc - by Boob (woman) - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled and said "well, now you'll need a hat." FML

#7196833
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (2318)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

#7196823
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8793) - you deserved it (26857)

On 01/07/2010 at 9:43am - misc - by Doomy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (3661)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

#7193872
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (2544)

On 01/07/2010 at 2:13am - misc - by nothotforteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (3432)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

#7192878
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (15413)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by a.baybay (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (2882)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

#7191706
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (5079)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:01am - love - by DeadBroke (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63345) - you deserved it (3153)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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