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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

#12957877
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33915) - you deserved it (2374)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by bustedfornuthin - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don't have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML

#12957316
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (3143)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by arose - United States

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39949) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4am to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML

#12953653
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27729) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/07/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by dumbdad - United States

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56602) - you deserved it (8282)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

NicoleIsCrazy's comment : That REALLY SUCKS!

See all the comments →

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

#12952694
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (4036)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:27pm - work - by Jobless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML

#12951031
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28304) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/07/2010 at 5:30pm - love - by Glutton for Punishment. - Sent from mobile version

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35671) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (6168)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

#12948650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (5105)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm - love - by drew - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (24399)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I received an anonymous letter telling me that I smell bad, and suggesting that I wear more deodorant. Apparently my BO is so bad that someone feels the need to stalk me to point it out. FML

#12947973
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10068) - you deserved it (32679)

On 09/07/2010 at 11:36am - health - by speedstick - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18114) - you deserved it (22897)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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