Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (6193)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

#13038261
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34712) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

#13037540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (4198)

On 09/13/2010 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (12473)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

#13035925
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (5982)

On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

#13033071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (8109)

On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)

Today, I procrastinated on doing my on-line training for my new job. Thinking it would only take a few hours to complete, I started it in the early evening. It is now almost 4 am, and I start my new job in 3 hours. There is still about another hour and a half on on-line training left. FML

#13032045
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (50629)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41163) - you deserved it (13100)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

#13030985
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28403) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/13/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by edwinduarte1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

#13030264
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (4631)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: