Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (34818)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

#6985807
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (2810)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:26am - love - by KittyNeko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (11026)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (5412)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (4410)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (2529)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (9350)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (5805)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (9063)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45332) - you deserved it (3547)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (3253)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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