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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9264) - you deserved it (27287)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (13032)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (34212)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought my boyfriend two concert tickets (of our favorite band) for his birthday. I was expecting him to bring me since I gave them to him and I like the band too. He said, "Sweet, thanks, I'll call my friend now and see if he wants to go. Think you could give us a ride?" FML

#12985012
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (5742)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:02am - love - by anlhawks - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML

#12984210
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (5173)

On 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm - misc - by higagram (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

#12983300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6523) - you deserved it (48449)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (14033)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9843) - you deserved it (42001)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

#12978381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you deserved it (9011)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

#12977321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28803) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm - misc - by gatorhead - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38563) - you deserved it (4292)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML

#12973891
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (37888)

On 09/09/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by myles bevan - United Kingdom

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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