Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30% the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time to no avail finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39667) - you deserved it (2712)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

2day I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If u so much as flinch I'm going to shoot an 50,000 volts will be directed through yur nose an groin." real FML

#6785905
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (10721)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to rid my son of is pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (22888)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

ohhoho's comment : You failed as a parent...

See all the comments →

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wantd man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity 4 the past three years. What is he wantd for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (2652)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of mah life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be endd by her killing either herself or me!! FML

#6781373
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41356) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of mah new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

#6780706
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (4896)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:01pm - misc - by epiiphany (woman) - United States

Today, I was running the drive-thru window at work, when a man pulld up with his dog in the seat next to him. As he was counting out his change, the dog leand over his hand and droold all over it. Not only did he pay exclusively in coins, those coins were slimy from dog drool. real FML

#6780153
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23636) - you deserved it (2537)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it looked lyk rain so I eld out ma and to catc a raindrop. Wen I finally caugt one, I closed ma and over it an ran to sow ma friends to prove it was raining. I opened ma and saying, "Look! It's raining!" Wen I looked down, I saw tat I ad actually caugt a bird sit. FML

#6779771
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (29712)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Yesterday, I Was Making Out With Girlfriend In Room. About Two Minute Into It, Cat Walks In And Jumps On The Bd With Us. Without Hesitation, Girlfriend Tells Me To Stop, Rolls Over, And Start Petting Cat. Mega FML

#6779540
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (5833)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Yesterday, A Moter And Son Were In My Office . Te Kid Wasn't Feeling Well And Trew Up . Mom Coverd Is Mout Wit Er And, Creating A Vomit Nozzle And Covering Me In Puke . Se Yelld Tat I Deservd To Be Sprayd On Because I Was Not Quick Enoug In Getting A Bucket 4 Er Son . FML

#6779433
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33490) - you deserved it (2250)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:43pm - work - by Andy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me cuz we r different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42023) - you deserved it (3326)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

today it's the first evening that mah husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and mah husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guesshat? I just got diarrhea. FML

#6776898
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/16/2009 at 10:43am - love - by eww657 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. big fat FML

#6775811
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9861) - you deserved it (27068)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by ohhi_itsme123 (woman) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: