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Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28951) - you deserved it (3925)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

kenjenkei's comment : Lady, you pushed a tiny human out of your vagina. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, you're amazing!

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Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

IceMan11's comment : Time to get a place of your own.

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Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

#21381631
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (2488)

On 03/25/2015 at 11:43pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

#21381329
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (4074)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Markovski's comment : That's rude. A dad should be more mindful and respectful, ESPECIALLY at a time like this.

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Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (4345)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26686) - you deserved it (3204)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (1877)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (2380)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

#21381106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/25/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Julie - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (2518)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (2908)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

#21380708
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (3532)

On 03/24/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by faaail - Ireland (Cork)



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