Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (3972)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (17797)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)
↑ inkdeath87's comment : That sucks, but it's a lesson! Never send pictures to people online! You never know who's on the other side!
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42170) - you deserved it (4637)
On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (4456)
On 05/31/2013 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (11866)
↑ untouchable763's comment : Clear History... CLEAR HISTORY!!
Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (3375)
On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45933) - you deserved it (3281)
On 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (2001)
On 05/31/2013 at 2:00pm - health - by nightbirdblue (woman) - United States
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (29442)
On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35291) - you deserved it (2820)
On 05/31/2013 at 9:54am - misc - by cantwin (man) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)
Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44468) - you deserved it (2992)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47872) - you deserved it (2431)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - love - by wtf mom - United States (California)
Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43845) - you deserved it (3268)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Monday 17 June 2013
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↑ Hamlin's comment : Surprise kick him in the balls back
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