Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (36433)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by lifesucks (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64248) - you deserved it (4792)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/24/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15442) - you deserved it (42759)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (43681)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17862) - you deserved it (43164)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15673) - you deserved it (21912)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (14118)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:01am - intimacy - by secret123 - United States
Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40025) - you deserved it (2810)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (3902)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61811) - you deserved it (15468)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55477) - you deserved it (6465)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you deserved it (41015)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Monday 20 May 2013
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