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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26289) - you deserved it (7071)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11656) - you deserved it (35387)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (6490)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (7142)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33803) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30022) - you deserved it (3704)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

#13081151
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (9131)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by happy bday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend's dad offered me $100 to break up with his daughter. I eagerly replied "no", but my girlfriend grabbed the money and said, "deal." FML

#13079046
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:30pm - love - by ccblock (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

#13078178
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (6012)

On 09/16/2010 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Laura - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to dye my hair to freshen up my appearance. I asked my husband for his opinion, expecting him to recommend a color. He then asked me why going on a diet wasn't my first option. FML

#13077269
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (11025)

On 09/16/2010 at 7:27pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (13084)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)



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