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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (3340)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52669) - you deserved it (8824)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

#5373762
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (4147)

On 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a trip to DC. When I got back I found out my car was stolen. Apparently they didn't know how to drive a stick because it was only 4 blocks from my house and the engine was blown. FML

#5369923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (1946)

On 09/20/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by PoorCar (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

#5369665
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (3832)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:42am - intimacy - by uglyallover (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

#5369463
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (6101)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:17am - intimacy - by seminole711 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML

#5369029
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58609) - you deserved it (3563)

On 09/20/2009 at 9:21am - love - by dreamdude (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38947) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML

#5368634
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (9339)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:03am - work - by Lazy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

#5368590
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (6002)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

#5365635
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (6498)

On 09/20/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by JazzyandAlice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33617) - you deserved it (3547)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

#5364542
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you deserved it (5025)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:04am - love - by isuckatlyfe (man) - United States (Florida)



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