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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

#6113173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (3558)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#6111658
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (25172)

On 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by CandlesSuck - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

#6110361
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (8795)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

#6108981
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31961) - you deserved it (13196)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML

#6108468
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7286) - you deserved it (45922)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8809) - you deserved it (52435)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (4813)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, tired and hungover, I missed my bus, tried to walk to the train station, got lost, got soaked in the rain, got huge blisters, and had to be picked up because I was late for work. I got in, drenched, tired, and cold only to be told there was "nothing to be done." FML

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

#6103963
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30929) - you deserved it (5900)

On 11/01/2009 at 4:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I am not allowed to have any of my candy because of my sister's weight problem. FML

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

#6101041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24349) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (5896)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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