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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML

#5736193
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (9439)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:46am - misc - by two-hours-to-pick-up (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (43900)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

#5735041
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6256) - you deserved it (76753)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:41am - love - by oliviakelly25 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

#5734528
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (36158)

On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

#5733211
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/09/2009 at 12:22am - love - by rhythmbandit (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

#5732047
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (6064)

On 10/08/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by StellaSanguina (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

#5730888
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (3348)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41962) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74930) - you deserved it (5492)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

#5721325
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38027) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)



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