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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML

#4062613
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (16459)

On 07/26/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by omgwtfsam (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (2147)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

#4060488
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16375) - you deserved it (69055)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:18pm - animals - by Fmycatslife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (12025)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

#4055468
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (5379)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

#4055189
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57135) - you deserved it (4714)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

#4054233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (17137)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

#4053861
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (6007)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (51274)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8655) - you deserved it (76962)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39973) - you deserved it (15453)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21973) - you deserved it (67235)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

#4046446
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (3468)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)



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