Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10680) - you deserved it (18779)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

#8818369
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6121) - you deserved it (33540)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:52am - work - by EnemyofKarma (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (7534)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (1662)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (8099)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

#8814971
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15737) - you deserved it (11366)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (23868)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30306) - you deserved it (2275)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (2904)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8654) - you deserved it (26762)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was upset that my boyfriend hasn't called in a while. Turns out, my step-mother blocked his number so he can't call. She never told me and, instead, just let me think he hated me. FML

#8801800
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
220 comments

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (3608)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)



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