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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

#7209759
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (22447)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that I have fallen for the most amazing girl. She's good looking, has a great personality, she's funny and is a hit with all my friends but she doesn't seem to realise she has a body odor problem. FML

#7207594
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27572) - you deserved it (5702)

On 01/07/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by DDubs (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (4571)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27529) - you deserved it (3610)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

#7203550
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31519) - you deserved it (1712)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Darkness162000 - France

Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML

#7203534
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (6163)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by SlappyMcGee (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML

#7201019
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5442) - you deserved it (39543)

On 01/07/2010 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

#7199308
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (9486)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

#7199217
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (2517)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:42pm - money - by Animal_aide (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23582) - you deserved it (3210)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (4025)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38596) - you deserved it (2446)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34377) - you deserved it (2717)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)



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