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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML

#7099836
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8283) - you deserved it (18361)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by cmilla (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML

#7099062
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (2536)

On 01/02/2010 at 3:26am - work - by Labelme (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

#7098506
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (4017)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

#7097742
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7056) - you deserved it (31177)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:08am - health - by couturier - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9097) - you deserved it (31400)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6367) - you deserved it (32696)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, our airplane was delayed because of issues with the de-ice-ing. Then, because it had too little fuel. Then, because of engine troubles. Then, because our first officer needed to be replaced due to legal restrictions on pilots' hours. Now, I get to go straight from the plane to work. FML

#7095154
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (2052)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:33am - work - by JSterl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML

#7094930
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:26am - health - by ouchie (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that the only part of my body that has had a reduction in size from changing my diet and working out isn't my stomach or my thighs but my already undersized breasts. FML

#7094608
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (2904)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4407) - you deserved it (52464)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (2500)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML

#7090975
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22331) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm - misc - by shoes (woman) - United States

Today, I got all dressed up for a New Year's party. When my parents and siblings left the house to their parties, I got undressed. I wasn't going to a party. I only got dressed up so my family would think I had plans. FML

#7089085
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (6295)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Shawna (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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