Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10909) - you deserved it (34115)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML

#13223066
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15429) - you deserved it (38390)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Liz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

Today, I am a 22 year old male with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

#13221655
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33691) - you deserved it (15750)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

#13221595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (9287)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60520) - you deserved it (3623)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40735) - you deserved it (4636)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

#13221173
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (4304)

On 09/27/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by cinderella (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

#13220648
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34859) - you deserved it (10305)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

#13220613
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (3630)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18474) - you deserved it (28839)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to get over my childhood phobia of syringes by donating blood. The phlebotomist hadn't even touched the needle before I started sobbing hysterically. They made me leave. FML

#13219092
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23034) - you deserved it (13212)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: