Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (44029)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

suppressed08's comment : Easy enough excuse - just say it was for easy remembrance. It only works as an excuse cos he's your boss though :)

See all the comments →

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12221) - you deserved it (35255)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I moved to get closer to his job. Today he got transferred 150 miles away from where we moved to. FML

#13297410
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (2479)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:00am - love - by liz - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (9182)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33662) - you deserved it (3203)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (10032)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11975) - you deserved it (24209)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (4236)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML

#13290816
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (5015)

On 10/02/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by harvdog - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39740) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39908) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: