Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I am that loser. FML

#7133599
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28041) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/03/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by birthday bash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

#7130565
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (5997)

On 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by jumpy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

#7127845
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (8401)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm - money - by brokeandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

#7125178
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8972) - you deserved it (30689)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by PWI_addict (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9750) - you deserved it (24088)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

#7124695
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9002) - you deserved it (26195)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (5819)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23822) - you deserved it (4804)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (13351)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9465) - you deserved it (60559)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

#7121915
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:59am - health - by nzkristy (woman) - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML

#7121728
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (6127)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:36am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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