Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (4063)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

#8969513
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36659) - you deserved it (3469)

On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9596) - you deserved it (25539)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

#8968601
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (3941)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:54am - love - by NotTilly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because apparently I don't appreciate how he's different from other guys. I only told him that showering once a month was not normal. FML

#8967212
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (4373)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:12am - love - by dumped - United States (Texas)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (27265)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (3383)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

#8965394
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (4740)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML

#8963973
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (12786)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by bdavis - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got up on stage excited to recite a spoken word piece that I worked on and memorized for about 20 hours, neglecting other obligations like studying for an exam the next day. I blanked out in the middle of the performance in front of hundreds of people. FML

#8962343
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21756) - you deserved it (6574)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by KJS (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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