Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my husband and I moved to get closer to his job. Today he got transferred 150 miles away from where we moved to. FML

#13297410
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (2479)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:00am - love - by liz - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (9182)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

#13293908
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33658) - you deserved it (3203)

On 10/02/2010 at 8:12pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44470) - you deserved it (10032)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML

#13292359
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11975) - you deserved it (24208)

On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (4236)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML

#13290816
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (5014)

On 10/02/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by harvdog - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39909) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

#13286743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22335) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68314) - you deserved it (6459)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Smyth's comment : aw man. that brought me down.

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Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

#13285229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (5658)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:28am - love - by ohman - Singapore



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