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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (4641)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

#6230893
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (9035)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

#6230724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38698) - you deserved it (2983)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm - work - by Failure (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

#6229163
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (2190)

On 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (3709)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30430) - you deserved it (2435)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13652) - you deserved it (33197)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13189) - you deserved it (47476)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

#6225204
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (2738)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:24am - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

#6224810
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (3228)

On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (6015)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (20205)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

skullet's comment : that shower head is SUCH A SLUT!

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