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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (5662)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you deserved it (5025)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (4317)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of searching I finally got a job interview. Too bad I didn't have enough money to buy a bus ticket to get there. FML

#8612009
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (3719)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (2222)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8005) - you deserved it (59965)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (1717)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11008) - you deserved it (29724)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (1909)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18686) - you deserved it (2571)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (4067)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (3280)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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