Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16666) - you deserved it (57553)
On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48015) - you deserved it (7166)
On 03/07/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by bu09 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111710) - you deserved it (7035)
On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and i told the waiter I'll have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, " Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51690) - you deserved it (6340)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47894) - you deserved it (14800)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83426) - you deserved it (15548)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11207) - you deserved it (54715)
On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16443) - you deserved it (29615)
On 03/07/2009 at 12:16pm - misc - by Triple F (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56482) - you deserved it (13731)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9131) - you deserved it (88474)
On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17631) - you deserved it (119108)
On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (136209) - you deserved it (8165)
On 03/07/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by Pissed Off (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (54524)
On 03/07/2009 at 2:35am - intimacy - by You Wish (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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↑ may_cause_fail's comment : Why would you have breast implants if you are still in school? You deserved that one, for that very reason.
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