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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (2413)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

#8532673
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (26539)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:14pm - animals - by Rafiki (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML

#8529668
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (3288)

On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

#8525883
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (2575)

On 02/21/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by erin1985 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5802) - you deserved it (44346)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

#8518590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (4205)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (7179)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (2918)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you deserved it (3284)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11191) - you deserved it (41094)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

#8510953
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (5222)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:36am - misc - by sasquatch21 (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)



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