Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, whence he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44680) - you deserved it (3484)
On 03/05/2009 at 12:14am - work - by UhhhUhhhRRRick (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (9913)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)
Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10951) - you deserved it (37438)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm - health - by katzperiod (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70636) - you deserved it (3716)
On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19319) - you deserved it (204401)
On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51730) - you deserved it (2851)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61380) - you deserved it (6682)
On 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Damn_her (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (35311)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by girlie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60359) - you deserved it (2077)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63073) - you deserved it (3512)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by arrrrggggghhhh (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184644) - you deserved it (21600)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
↑ ObellaO's comment : Quite honestly I appreciate the twisted humor =-)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (7190)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
I agree, your life sucks (93399) - you deserved it (3749)
On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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↑ megabstr's comment : Today, I finally got to watch a movie after 3 months in hospital. I didn't feel very well since the air conditioner was too strong, and suddenly some girls started throwing things at me for no reason. I had to go back to the hospital that night. FML
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