Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29076) - you deserved it (3474)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

#13313177
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39655) - you deserved it (2902)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:37am - money - by melean (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (5109)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57540) - you deserved it (5996)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (46433)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

#13309990
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11085) - you deserved it (26729)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by ohshootgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

SirWhatsHisFace's comment : OP you shouldn't wear skirts made of pencils, you could stab your thighs. :o

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

#13309964
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (5701)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

#13307467
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (7446)

On 10/03/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by krt - United States (Florida)

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

#13306628
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11305) - you deserved it (25748)

On 10/03/2010 at 6:24pm - animals - by baconman86 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

#13304809
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (3084)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

#13304780
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29655) - you deserved it (7855)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Kasnt - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML

#13304586
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26698) - you deserved it (3807)

On 10/03/2010 at 2:34pm - money - by Ginger - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

#13302610
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32341) - you deserved it (3084)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:59am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: