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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

#9004335
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by dreadedmafia86 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

#9001773
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23218) - you deserved it (2038)

On 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

#9001360
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9081) - you deserved it (24180)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML

#9000843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (1971)

On 03/11/2010 at 5:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (2320)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (1772)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my husband that after fifteen years of marriage, I wanted a divorce. His first question was whether or not he could still go on the family cruise my parents are paying for in May. FML

#8995755
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (9795)

On 03/11/2010 at 12:13pm - love - by danikka1 - United States

Today, my extremely loud and nocturnal flatmate phoned me to tell me excitedly that he got an accordion for his birthday. FML

#8994510
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (2577)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hillingdon)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (3342)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I found out that my entire family thinks I have no friends, am expressionless (to quote, "a robot") and that my monotonous voice hints at the suppressed depression hidden deep inside me. According to them, I need psychic evaluation. It all came out at a family reunion. FML

#8993949
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (3201)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:28am - misc - by talhabilal - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

#8993133
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (4221)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML

#8992820
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (5038)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:16am - love - by Lonely (woman) - New Zealand



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