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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (8044)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

#13339977
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:40am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36908) - you deserved it (3520)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

#13339681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (5763)

On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12385) - you deserved it (55124)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (3828)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Mirorbo's comment : I hope you're not going to blame your best friend for it, darling. As shocking as the news is, it's in the past.

See all the comments →

Today, I got up and left for work despite being really sick, because I had a big meeting. Halfway to work, in deadlocked traffic, my boss texts me to let me know he's rescheduling the meeting to tomorrow because of personal conflicts. FML

#13336627
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/05/2010 at 11:20pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (5452)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I told the girl I've been seeing for a while about the strong feelings that I have for her and that I was falling in love. She told me my words made her realize what it felt like to be in love. My words were so powerful, in fact, that she ran right back into the arms of her ex boyfriend. FML

#13331586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15895) - you deserved it (33271)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML

Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML

#13328394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (42599)

On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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