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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

#13382231
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (8842)

On 10/09/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda (Saint John)

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

#13380942
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10756) - you deserved it (40861)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

#13380605
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:54pm - misc - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back and lying about where he was was out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

#13380093
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (3000)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

#13379120
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (3225)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

#13376999
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16670) - you deserved it (25811)

On 10/09/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Kiimmy (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML

#13375459
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32666) - you deserved it (7074)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

#13375159
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/09/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by jessii - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (8703)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (4412)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33538) - you deserved it (9531)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (5720)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

#13372980
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11473) - you deserved it (31739)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by theleague (man) - United States (California)



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