Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

#7255890
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (5284)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

#7255685
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (3651)

On 01/10/2010 at 9:48am - love - by VAngelique (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (3477)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

#7253458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6847) - you deserved it (25468)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by regrub (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to show my boyfriend how to shake my iPod to shuffle songs. When I went to shake it, it flew out of my hand and hit him in the face. FML

#7252509
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9802) - you deserved it (25281)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by crappygirlfriend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

#7251449
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (1742)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:01am - misc - by zenithbelana (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

#7249954
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30323) - you deserved it (2880)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:55am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

#7249496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8973) - you deserved it (27020)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing "if you're happy and you know it." My mom joined in. And they sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

#7247927
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:29pm - misc - by 1thapp3ns (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

#7244801
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5755) - you deserved it (27400)

On 01/09/2010 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (3080)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (6872)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

#7239048
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (10478)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: