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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9908) - you deserved it (40577)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (4941)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

#13398040
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40763) - you deserved it (4101)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by jailbirdlove - United States (Kentucky)

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10020) - you deserved it (28684)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (2661)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (3445)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11736) - you deserved it (65275)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

#13394916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (6091)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:45pm - misc - by lolu - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (8831)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12107) - you deserved it (26214)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (5480)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6339) - you deserved it (25697)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35683) - you deserved it (3352)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)



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