Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

#13397678
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10020) - you deserved it (28684)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (2661)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35245) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11736) - you deserved it (65270)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

#13394916
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (6090)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:45pm - misc - by lolu - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (8831)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12095) - you deserved it (26195)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

#13390544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (5480)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:47am - kids - by hairyarms (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

#13389491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6338) - you deserved it (25697)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (3350)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (7340)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

#13386439
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (13180)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:29am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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