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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (7047)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

#9111190
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (25253)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43112) - you deserved it (8741)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

#9105957
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6826) - you deserved it (27655)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:12pm - misc - by katharine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39271) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

#9102877
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11255) - you deserved it (21046)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

#9102089
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (9398)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (3256)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

#9101035
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (3545)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25497) - you deserved it (3695)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21204) - you deserved it (4435)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (2107)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (5139)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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