Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66367) - you deserved it (6627)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to lighten my hair. I applied the dye and waited 20 minutes. When I went to wash the dye out, the water wouldn't turn on. After my head started to burn, I called the landlord in a panic. Turns out there was a water main break and the entire city block doesn't have water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64719) - you deserved it (4045)
On 03/09/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by NowABlonde (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23637) - you deserved it (40725)
On 03/09/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by DumbDinosaur (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (74719)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78136) - you deserved it (2316)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66536) - you deserved it (3984)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40248) - you deserved it (7151)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)
Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78984) - you deserved it (2816)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Chops (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (3234)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (9549)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41438) - you deserved it (4179)
On 03/09/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by frosho (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47764) - you deserved it (9465)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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