Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

#13458555
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (4213)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

#13457559
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (3932)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

#13457118
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/15/2010 at 9:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (2816)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (9311)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

#13455884
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (2542)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:05am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36391) - you deserved it (3516)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

#13454741
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30957) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

#13454084
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (4187)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:18am - love - by lilshoobydoo14 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (11677)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8104) - you deserved it (27267)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a $200 bonus at work and was super excited about getting a plane ticket to see my family. On the way back from work I got a $300 speeding ticket. FML

#13450505
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11678) - you deserved it (41299)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:43pm - money - by copmagnet - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (8870)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: