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Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

#8395812
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:31am - work - by buttcrack (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (4189)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (5271)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

#8388229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (2112)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:46pm - misc - by WTFsalad (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15804) - you deserved it (2211)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

#8382475
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (9210)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by missunlucky (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

#8376672
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (33907)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

#8375974
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (4316)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by ceilingssuck (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

#8375292
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41247) - you deserved it (2327)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:49pm - love - by tj85 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (10540)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (5145)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)



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