Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11032) - you deserved it (32091)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (9023)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (5643)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28752) - you deserved it (3207)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a wallet belonging to some guy, it had $355 inside. Because he had his address written inside, I decided to return it hoping for a reward. I drove for 40 mins and finally got to his house during peak hour. All he did was say "oh cool". FML

#7693215
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30089) - you deserved it (13595)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:06am - money - by Sheggie (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting three little kids. I decided to give one of them (a seven-year-old) a piggy-back ride, thinking I'm strong enough. I managed to get a few feet before faceplanting on the wooden floor. She is fine though, no pain or anything. My face took the impact for both of us. FML

#7693157
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8774) - you deserved it (22643)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:05am - kids - by ouchy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

#7693033
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (8462)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

#7682413
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (6538)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (5254)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you deserved it (2791)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

#7676063
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (4777)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm - work - by ouch (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML

#7675609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (36147)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

#7674410
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (2813)

On 01/29/2010 at 1:59pm - misc - by Dana (woman) - United States (New York)



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