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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

#5579779
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (1849)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (4761)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

deshypothequiez's comment : you should feel flattered and then have sex with him duh

See all the comments →

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13362) - you deserved it (40990)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (37666)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

#5579057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (4399)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML

#5577587
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (2372)

On 10/01/2009 at 12:05am - work - by bm128902 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that 6 months ago I signed up for a 3 day trial for a porn website that turns into a $30 membership after 3 days. I completely forgot the day after and never viewed it. I've spent $180 so far. And I can't remember my password. FML

#5573814
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8278) - you deserved it (59445)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:22pm - money - by GetMoney (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

#5573179
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (11691)

On 09/30/2009 at 8:56pm - misc - by QuestionMyLife - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48326) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26697) - you deserved it (4231)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

#5568676
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4808) - you deserved it (57305)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (2666)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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