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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (6190)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, I found out that the man who sold me my car 6 months ago lied about it being "recently serviced" and "in excellent condition". It actually hasn't been serviced in years, and fixing all its problems is going to cost me $900 more than what I paid for the car. FML

#8820381
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10126) - you deserved it (26884)

On 03/04/2010 at 9:09am - money - by rippedoff (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (3176)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (5278)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (2510)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

#8818835
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10321) - you deserved it (18441)

On 03/04/2010 at 5:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

#8818369
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (33519)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:52am - work - by EnemyofKarma (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (7449)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (1661)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (8094)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

#8814971
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (11360)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11877) - you deserved it (23707)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

#8807543
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (2274)

On 03/03/2010 at 8:26pm - love - by WhiteLiar (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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