Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3782)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

#8455836
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (2581)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:54pm - kids - by beezybees (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (5959)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the roads were OK, so I cleaned the ice and snow off my car so I could go out. I rolled my window down a little bit while I was driving to clear the snow off the base of the window. A chunk of ice flew off my hood, in through the window, and hit my eye. I then hit a snowbank. FML

#8452983
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by ouch - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (4737)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friends told me, "Don't worry about your bad acne. It kind of looks like the pattern the avatars have on their heads." FML

#8445794
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (2433)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

#8445631
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (4723)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:18pm - love - by wtfuraretard (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23073) - you deserved it (2030)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (4518)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized that the only things I gained from my masters programs are more debt and the knowledge that you can use a semicolon in a list. FML

#8437472
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (4813)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

#8437368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/19/2010 at 6:52am - kids - by JJ101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: