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Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML

#6400786
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (5094)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by jayne_dhoe (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

#6400678
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/22/2009 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

#6397503
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (3396)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (6941)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

#6396436
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (6087)

On 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm - animals - by gbabyy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

#6394262
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (3923)

On 11/21/2009 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by sleepwalker - United States (South Carolina)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (5847)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12642) - you deserved it (34253)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

#6392030
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11960) - you deserved it (29089)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:21pm - health - by MrZach (man) - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (13910)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (24121)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

#6390858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (3572)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a friend convinced me that I should throw a big party and invite everyone to come. After fixing a ton of party food, I sat around and waited for my guests to arrive. No one did. FML

#6390668
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by tealsoda (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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