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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

#8508631
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7530) - you deserved it (33686)

On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

#8507501
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (4552)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by weirdo - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML

#8507226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (2783)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by emih (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (3565)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4563) - you deserved it (56972)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

GermanKat's comment : er-what??

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Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML

#8502546
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (18669)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:08am - intimacy - by hayah - Sent from mobile version

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27084) - you deserved it (3438)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML

#8500345
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7770) - you deserved it (35110)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:14am - health - by Braced (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

#8499818
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (2305)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by Will - Sent from mobile version

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

#8493651
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (7930)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by gullible (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9741) - you deserved it (27848)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

#8492061
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (4590)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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