Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24850) - you deserved it (4463)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (5679)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39431) - you deserved it (3355)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

#13521400
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (12852)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:38am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (10914)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39465) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (3941)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

#13515175
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18176) - you deserved it (37252)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by failed_catgirl (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML

#13514929
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (16564)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:06pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

#13514836
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45938) - you deserved it (3589)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by widow - United States (Illinois)

pwincessa23's comment : Wow. I'm so sorry

See all the comments →

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (5788)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: