Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12060) - you deserved it (51332)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66077) - you deserved it (7643)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76781) - you deserved it (6802)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46015) - you deserved it (14324)
On 03/20/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52627) - you deserved it (12122)
On 03/20/2009 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112135) - you deserved it (9869)
On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (79624) - you deserved it (6033)
On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (101706)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11306) - you deserved it (74951)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend was driving me to her house against my will when I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9159) - you deserved it (59579)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by lukey_G (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88252) - you deserved it (4715)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by rmb131 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (308026) - you deserved it (41007)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13218) - you deserved it (75191)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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↑ olivejuice's comment : Isn't it a little inappropriate to ask what turns on your 4 year old?
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