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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

#13598783
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (2336)

On 10/26/2010 at 2:35am - work - by robthebuilder (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML

#13596248
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28145) - you deserved it (12290)

On 10/25/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, one of my coworkers called to remind me about the annual costume day at work this morning. I dressed as Pocahontas. There is no annual costume day. I was fired for dressing inappropriately in front of customers. FML

#13595352
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33677) - you deserved it (6524)

On 10/25/2010 at 9:47pm - work - by pocahontas (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

#13593951
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (2256)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (4277)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML

#13591774
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (8509)

On 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

#13590794
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (4111)

On 10/25/2010 at 3:05pm - intimacy - by shiznit - United States (Florida)

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (3069)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45000) - you deserved it (4335)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11904) - you deserved it (66104)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14914) - you deserved it (39077)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (6359)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19545) - you deserved it (30755)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)



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